There is something about the idea I have of my future life/self that makes me unable to visualize that future except in a form of relativity. For a mind -my mind- that has been for long trained to view everything in the dichotomy of logic, it has always been so hard for me to think of what I want to become rather than what I really don't want to grow up into. Living within the ordinarity of our modern life it has been very fruitful to fill a basket of all the things I'd hate to be. From a person too blinded by power/ wealth/ beauty -or any other form of socially applauded superiorities- to see the little voices beneath me, to a health-professional who preaches people about eating more apples and eats a ton load of fries.
There is something about living amongst each other, with all our differences, that connects us despite our contrasts. Why else would we be too repulsed from each other if we weren't all the same -remember the poles of a magnet?-. And because of our strong rejection for what's in fact an extended part of us that we drown in the turmoil of our dissimilarities. I remember talking a lot previously of our need for acceptance and empathy confusing them as the first steps to become better people and better units of a society, but I realized it goes down to something more basic than those "sophisticated" thoughts.
The secret word, the basic step is to LISTEN.
When approached with an argument it is a very human reflex of our ego to protect itself by getting our emotions aroused directing our attention and perception. For example I could complain to my teacher about the difficult time I'm having trying to understand let's say astrophysics and instead of guiding me to enhance my understanding, and governed by emotions my teacher would choose to be offended, take it personally and assume that I was doubting his/hers teaching skills. The waste of both of our times could've been avoided had my teacher put feelings aside and "listened". Of course my example might appear too extreme for some, but for others I bet it'd be too relatable. And the point here remains that we should not allow our defensiveness to cloud our judgment, and most importantly realize that hearing out what's being said to us is totally different than listening.
- Don't complain about being available for people and not being appreciated. ask yourself are you listening?
- Don't rush into thinking what to feel about what's being said to you. pause. breathe. go out of your head. empathize. listen. now decide what to feel.
- Our defenses don't protect us they keep us from actually connecting positively and constructively.
- Our presumptions, judgments, prejudices are faulty generalizations that limit our perception of people around us. Put it aside and listen.
- Our ears are there to hear, our minds listen it doesn't just happen we have to put the effort.
- Listen, connect, be happy.
Why did I write this?
Because I realized that the worst person I could turn out to be is a person who doesn't listen and so could you.
There is something about living amongst each other, with all our differences, that connects us despite our contrasts. Why else would we be too repulsed from each other if we weren't all the same -remember the poles of a magnet?-. And because of our strong rejection for what's in fact an extended part of us that we drown in the turmoil of our dissimilarities. I remember talking a lot previously of our need for acceptance and empathy confusing them as the first steps to become better people and better units of a society, but I realized it goes down to something more basic than those "sophisticated" thoughts.
The secret word, the basic step is to LISTEN.
When approached with an argument it is a very human reflex of our ego to protect itself by getting our emotions aroused directing our attention and perception. For example I could complain to my teacher about the difficult time I'm having trying to understand let's say astrophysics and instead of guiding me to enhance my understanding, and governed by emotions my teacher would choose to be offended, take it personally and assume that I was doubting his/hers teaching skills. The waste of both of our times could've been avoided had my teacher put feelings aside and "listened". Of course my example might appear too extreme for some, but for others I bet it'd be too relatable. And the point here remains that we should not allow our defensiveness to cloud our judgment, and most importantly realize that hearing out what's being said to us is totally different than listening.
- Don't complain about being available for people and not being appreciated. ask yourself are you listening?
- Don't rush into thinking what to feel about what's being said to you. pause. breathe. go out of your head. empathize. listen. now decide what to feel.
- Our defenses don't protect us they keep us from actually connecting positively and constructively.
- Our presumptions, judgments, prejudices are faulty generalizations that limit our perception of people around us. Put it aside and listen.
- Our ears are there to hear, our minds listen it doesn't just happen we have to put the effort.
- Listen, connect, be happy.
Why did I write this?
Because I realized that the worst person I could turn out to be is a person who doesn't listen and so could you.
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